“If I don’t like myself, why should I care about self-care?”
A story about self-care and filling up your tank
What a potent statement. This statement came from a client who had been struggling with body image and an eating disorder. Oftentimes clients with an eating disorder struggle with their body image and have a difficult time seeing the importance of taking care of a body they feel like has betrayed them.
What I will say to this statement is that self-care is not just bubble baths and going to bed early. Yes, both of these are great ways to unwind and treat ourselves, but I am talking about a different, deeper version of self-care.
I am talking about the kind of self-care that you would do for a loved one. My favorite example of this is something I, myself have been through. Let’s say you just left work after a long and busy day. The word tired is an understatement at this point. You glance down at your gas gauge and see that you need to get gas. It definitely isn’t something you want to do tonight. All you can think about is getting home, taking a bubble bath, and relaxing. So you could just go home, without stopping for gas, or you will have to fill up the tank in the morning. What do you do?
There is no right or wrong answer.
You decide to just get home, you will deal with it later. That bubble bath is waiting, so you get home and get on with your evening.
The next morning arrives, and you are running late! Maybe you had trouble sleeping so it was hard to get going, maybe you had a fight with a partner or kids, maybe your kids kept you from leaving on time. You hurry out the door, frantically grabbing your necessities for the day, you open up the car, get in, turn it on…and bam. You see the gas light on.
ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!
You are already frustrated, stressed, and in a bad mood and now you have to stop for gas before you even get on your way to work making you even later for work.
Now imagine a different scenario. You filled up the tank the night before, even though you really didn’t want to do it. You had the same kind of morning as described above, you get into your car and see a FULL TANK! For one moment, you breathe a sigh of relief. At least you don’t have to be even more late because you decided to fill up your tank last night.
These small moments can have a huge impact on our day, and can actually turn our day around if we let them. For just one moment, we are able to be thankful, relieved, and at peace.
This is the kind of self-care I am talking about. The kind where we try to make our lives better-just for ourselves. No matter what kind of struggle we are in-whether we are friends with ourselves or just trying to get by day-to-day, we are all able and capable of feeling relief, peace, and gratitude. A little bit of “I am so glad I did that last night” can go a long way. It is taking care of ourselves-like that bubble bath-but a little further. It is preventative care for ourselves, making our lives just a little easier-almost like having a fairy godmother. The beauty of self-care is, even if we feel like we don’t deserve it, it can be done for our future self. The self we strive to be, the self we want to become even if we are not. Oftentimes when someone says that they struggle with doing anything for themselves, little things like filling up your gas tank can be a great place to start.
See what happens the next time you see the gas light go on-do you take care of it now, or do you wait until another day?
